The new article:
HAROLD NUKILLS X-PHILE
HAROLD NUKILLS CHATTING DAVE U. UP
FOUR-WAY NECK MACHINES
Hello small fries.This is Harry here,a little tired because I was running my own x-files marathon last night.You know why moulder pulls his I.D. out of his pocket with his left hand?It's so he can get his gun with his right if need-be.Hey! I've read the literature.So have you heard about the inbreds?They're recording with the bass player from Jesus and Mary Chain,lincoln fong.That's sort of funny I mean isn't that the same guy that only plays two strings cause that's"all that he uses?"What are they going to become like that band morphine.I have a buddy that works at the recycling depot who was responsible for the recording studio's garbage so guess what?We're talkin' full inventory.So shall I give you the highlights.Tetra boxes of Snapples' controversial "pamapple" the no stick fruit drink. A bag of those styrofoam "s"s.But what's with this,Booger reports that he uncovered a ton of used hotshots and a l'eggs pantyhose plastic eggs.As far as the high-gene goes they prefer breck's body on tap hair rinse to the balding side effects of head and shoulders(its rumoured that head and shoulders was a requirement on the presidents of U.S.A.s rider).Now I leave you with the question,Where were the Inbreds when we were getting high?
This is Dave here escorting H. Nukils up to the bar to write another round.
Could someone please tell me why people are so weight concious in thisday and age? Is there anyone still enjoying a guilt free trip to a varietyshop. When I used to tag along with Mike to the food court it was like abloody bird flew in with me. Diet pepsi and those polish snacks,sesame seedssuspended in toffee and pretzels! Here's some string little bird! Fly awayand make your nest! I dunno if I can even count on Dave anymore. He used tobrag about all the junk he ate, I mean he WOULD. He was like a bloodygoat. He'd eat the plastic wrapper and the cardboard display case rightalong with the pecan log.But nooo that stuff is kids stuff now.Dave hittin'the step machine.What's the deal?I live with my own brand of laserfaire. Right now I'm sucking back a big gulp through a red twizzler. I needmy energy after all. But don't go thinkin these guys were alwaysparticipaction poster children.I have the diary excerpts to prove it!
"Today we ate at skookam chief burgers. They were excellent along with the burger meat there was bacon,eggs,ham.I mean it's like having every meal at once!"-Mike O -june 21/94
How do you like that! And I guarantee he had breakfast and a five piecechicken dinner on top of that. I think that this might result in somedebate. Did he rock harder in those early days. Look at archemidies thescientist. He measured the volume of his ass by getting into a tub. Moreass, more waves. So Its like bony ass rock vs. big ass rock.I dunno. I gottago.
Harry Nukills
Goodday you all.This is Harry here.I have a bit of a stiff neck yousee.If there is anyone out there who knows how to use one of those "fourway"neck machines you see at the gym,please make sure to send me somedemonstration diagrams.I got on that thing and nearly ripped my neckoff.Why are those things even in there.Now due to the overwhelming feedbackJohnny O received on the first two articles,I understand that this willbecome a weekly event,so keep tuning in for more facinating stories aboutthe Inbreds.
***Fact: Dave Ullrich has a shoe size of 19!**
